Comments on: I am large …

By: Eric MacKnight

Eric MacKnight — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 16:07:40 +0000

A beautiful piece of writing, Pete. I’m sure your dad is very proud of you.

BTW, I’ve still got a lot of quotations up on my classroom walls, but not that one at the moment. By Wednesday next week, I promise.

Best wishes.

Eric

By: Paul Oh

Paul Oh — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 04:55:26 +0000

This was beautiful. And it was Large. As are you, for sure.

Peace and love to you, my friend.

By: Lynn Jacobs

Lynn Jacobs — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 03:04:16 +0000

Oh Peter, I do know this myriad of feelings. When my dad passed I was angry with him for the longest time. I was mad that he smoked and mad that he drank and disgusted that he didn’t eat right. I wanted his approval and I needed him there to give it to me. But he suddenly wasn’t and I was mad. I stayed mad for a while, and could work up a good head of tears over it at very little provocation. After a while though, it all began to settle and I forgot to be so mad. Every so often I’d turn inward, though and kind of pick at that scab, just to see if it’d still bleed. Finally, it no longer did. I guess I grew up a little after that.

I loved reading your piece. I’m glad you’re writing – it is really the only way out for some of us. I’ve thought of you all week. Please know I’m sending you lots of love and support.

Lynn

By: Sarah Pape

Sarah Pape — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 00:47:49 +0000

Oh, Peter. Jackson Browne is my all-time, since high school (too), melancholy poet/singer/songwriter. I actually own his hat. My aunt was obsessed with him and lived and worked in LA around his haunts. She passed by his open convertible and snatched it from the driver’s seat. I inherited it when I began playing his records all night while penning my sad sack poetry…

I am so sorry for your loss. Such inadequate words when we get close to the bone. I am, though, heartened to see you working through your experience by writing, and with such honesty. Even in admitting your weaknesses, I am struck by how humble and good you are.

You have been in my thoughts. If it would make you feel any better, you can borrow my/his hat sometime. Sing out if you need any old thing.

–SP

By: Cynthia Calvert

Cynthia Calvert — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 00:26:16 +0000

(I just wrote a long response to this, but my connection wigged out, so I’m starting over with a shorter reply.)

I understand all the emotions you are going through, and I promise they are normal. I went through them all when first my dad and then my mom had a stroke and became dependent on their five children, but especially my family and me because we were the only ones who lived in the same town and then my sister Gail and her family when they moved back to MS. I was heart-broken, resentful, guilty, grief-stricken, angry, sad–the entire gamut of emotions. Soon after my mother’s funeral, my minister told me, “Don’t worry that you can’t cry. It’s okay. I’ve watched you go through all the stages of grief already.” And, you know what–it was all right–finally.

My prayers are with you and yours as you go through all the stages of grief. It will be all right–finally.

Cynthia

By: stuckinmypedals

stuckinmypedals — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 23:55:47 +0000

Resentment? Check. Guilt? Check. Relief? Check. Inappropriate joking? In spades. Those were just a handful from the grab bag of responses I had when my dad died. I won’t say I’ve been there because each circumstance is so different, but I will say I know some of those same feelings. And I will say time has made most days easier. One day all those harder feelings give way to a little seedling of something good. I hope the memorial goes well.

Oh and thanks for introducing me to Jackson Browne. I didn’t know who he was until today, you know, because I’m young. Shoot, there goes that inappropriate joking again.

Take care.